Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Putting some verbs in my life (or why my cat has the secrets to the universe)

So, I am sitting on my front patio, and my cat is eyeing off a huge bush turkey in the trees. She believes in her heart she can take this giant bird on. She believes that she is a lioness. And whilst it is amusing to watch, it is little things like this that give me the small smiles in my day, it is also a little lesson from the universe, I think. I need to believe I can do bigger things than I think I am capable of. I need to be a lioness.

Whilst feelings and emotions are important, I need to honor them, not repress them. Explore them and accept them. Heck, that's why I am in therapy, I also need to take the time to put some more verbs in my day, if I am to slowly crawl out of this.

So, today, I am going to jog on the wii, because exercise is good for me. I am going to phone my friend, because social interconnectedness prevents me from isolating myself alone with the dark monster. I am going to study and work on my assignments for uni, because that is making positive steps towards the future I want. I am going to eat and shower, because that is showing respect for myself and my body. I am going to go in and work my volunteer shift tonight because it shows me that I am someone who values my commitments, and has something of value, to give the world. And most importantly, I am going to breathe.

It doesn't seem to be a lot, in the midst of the emotions and feelings that are flooding around me and dragging me down to that dark place. But set out in writing, that's actually quite a few verbs isn't it. Quite a few things I can do, at a time where I feel as though I really don't know what to do. And tomorrow, I'll get up and add a few more verbs to my life.

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