Monday, December 28, 2009

Mental hiatus

Still on 'holidays', but just back in my own home. Was a very bizarre feeling today, to not grab my stuff and head to the other side of the city for my regular therapy appointment, but there was also a certain relief... not having to dive into all of 'that', just right now. So, no therapy, no case manager, no work. I do have some uni stuff to do, but it doesn't have to be done immediately. I spent the day at home alone, just enjoying the sense of no expectations or pressures on me, in the moment. Watched some TV, did some painting, ate cold pizza for breakfast. It was nice. There is an inherent sense of 'temporariness', as I know of course, that this brief respite will not be able to last long. But still nice, nonetheless. Sis and co are heading back off for the New Year, so I shall have the house entirely to myself for a while, which will be really good. I'm even sleeping a little more.. although I would put this mostly down to still being pretty ill. When I start coughing, you can see people around me wince, and my ribs just ache and ache.

There are issues I could talk about after an X'mas with FOO, but for now I am enjoying being out of the analytical headspace. I am on a mental hiatus... but the cloud of bleurghiness that awaits me outside this, remains ever visible.

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