Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Merry Christmas to all. I am heading home to town of origin tomorrow to spend christmas with the family (yikes) and I am not sure whether I will have much time to get on the internet, so I may have a little break from blogging.

Sleep issues have undergone a temporary reprieve as I have come down with a bad dose of the flu. Stabbing pains in the chest, and the sound of a barking seal emanating from my mouth. On the upside, today I went down for a nap at 11, woke up briefly at 3, and then went back to sleep till 8pm. I've just had some food and medications, and I think I'm about ready to hit the hay again. I guess my body is winning this round of mind over matter.

Had an interesting seesion with therapist (D) yesterday which primarily focussed on my sex life. Awkward. As I told her, the quality of my sex life seems... inconsequential compared to some of the other issues I am facing. But she continued to posit that it ties in directly with my issues of intimacy, trust and self worth... more on this another day.  Either way was excrutiatingly embarrassing and uncomfortable conversation to be having with my therapist.

So, here I am, therapist and case manager free for the next two weeks... quite intimidating, but I guess I don't have much choice but to get through the holidays as intact as I can manage. Spoke to (M) Casemanager today, and she gave me the number for a mental health line closer to my town of origin (but still over two and a half hours away). My other options if the shit does hit the fan is to head into the Accident and Emergency room at local small hospital, which in reality is not much of an option, as my mother works as a nurse there. But it doesn't hurt to have the options available, I guess.

Hopefully, I can peel myself out of my sickbed tomorrow, to give the house a quick clean, before we head off for a few days. So crossing my fingers, that I manage to at least maintain the appearance of an even keel for the next few days......

All the best for Xmas everyone.

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