Sunday, December 13, 2009

I don't like mondays

Am feeling a little emotional this evening. Was a tough day at work today as I was talking to one particular resident for most of the afternoon, who has been told her teen daughter only has a few days, at most left. Was particularly emotional, because it was so unexpected for her. The daughter was 100% fine a week ago, and within the space of a week, has been admitted to hospital, gone into a coma, and now her body is entirely shutting down. Its hard to know what to say, but I guess the point is they don't need me to say anything, they just need me  to listen. So she spent an hour or so, telling me about her daughter, showing me pictures......... and I must admit, although I held it together in front of her, I did cry on the busride home after work. I worry that maybe I wont be able to emotionally distance myself well enough to do the job. But then another part of me thinks, these people dont need emotional distance, they need a real human being to bear witness to their pain. And maybe my emotionality and empathy is not necessarily a sign of weakness and over involvement.,.. I don't know.

Other than that, I am anxious about going to therapy tomorrow after thursday session. Hopefully it will be a little less intense. And hopefull I can find away to reasonabley work through the anger that I am inexplicabley holding towards therapist (D). I then have an appointment with BabyDoc on wednesday, which also has my stomach tied in knots... another trip to the giant purple amoeba they call a Mental Health Service.

Finally, Bachelor Number one, is in a bit of trouble with me right now, and we will probably be having our first official disagreement on Thursday night (date night). But I think it will be fine, just some expectations and boundaries that need to be cleared up. He is such a man!

So yeah, not really looking forward to this week... but we'll see how it goes

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