Change

Hmmm... So on top of everything else, it would appear that we are about to lose two housemates. Its all very nasty and tense, and there is no exact date for departure, leaving me worried that we will be left with not enough notice to get in a new house mate, and thus be stuck with footing double the weekly rent, until we do, which is a daunting prospect when you are on a limited income.  On top of that, the whole idea of having some 'unknown' person move in to the house is quite an anxiety inducing prospect for me. Studying from home, I spend a lot of time here, and it is my little sanctuary from the world.  I don't cope very well with strangers and have been quite lucky thus far to never have had to live with somebody I didn't previously know quite well. (Apart from College, many a year back, but that was a dorm, rather than a house, so a completely different dynamic, and even then I certainly had some major issues throughout the four years I lived there. I have lived with housemates who were friends which worked ok. I have lived in flats and apartments by myself, which is what I actually prefer, but is financially unworkable now in bigger city, and I am currently living with sister, her bf (looks like soon to be ex) and his brother, which has had its moments but for the most part has been a reasonably comfortable set-up.

Anxiety is really quite high at the moment, with therapist off for the next week, Case manager off for half of next week, Bachelor No 1 overseas for the next fortnight, Xmas and all that that brings approaching quickly, Changes to medication, sleep going completely haywire ect ect ect.  Add to the that the uncertainty of the New Year, with Case Management ending, possible new housemate, developing relationship with Bachelor No 1, Increased demand from uni, with practicuum element of the course for first Semester next year.... Its just all a bit too much.

On top of that, mood has hit quite a low. Am not sure if its the season, or another bout in the boxing ring of depression is imminent.

Why is it that everything changes at once? Why is it that just when you feel like you might have the shoreline in sight, another massive rip comes to drag you back out to see?