Monday, November 16, 2009

Blowing in the wind

The wind was blowing a gale this afternoon as I walked home from my therapy appointment. The promises of a storm that never actually eventuated. And as I walked along bracing myself against the wind, I was noticing the trees all about me, swaying with each gust.  And I started thinking (probably over thinking once again) about that saying about a tree needing to bend with the breeze or else it will break. I'm not very good at that. I find myself constantly braced (emotionally and a lot of the time physically) at some percieved threat or imminent storm approaching. My therapist (and others) have noticed how my body will physically close up and go as solid as a rock when I'm feeling vulnerable or threatened (which is a lot of the time). And so when it does hit, I have no 'give', I will brace until I am so tired from the exertion that I break. So that's what I was thinking on the way home from therapy today, I need to learn to bend, so that all these little smaller storms just gust by me, leaving me relatively unscathed and with enough energy to weather the real storms.

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