Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Sneaky little bastard


It's a sneaky little bastard.... always hanging around waiting for just the right time to....POUNCE! Went to see new case manager (M) for the first time today. How are you feeling? Anxious. Why? Wel, I don't bloody know, do I? Could be any number of things... new case manager, new place, walking down the street open and vunerable, instead of cosy and safe in my bedroom. The potential of having to talk about horrible things, The potential she will dismiss horrible things and tell me to focus on the present. The world, the universe and everything! It's all anxiety provoking....sometimes mildly so, sometimes shoving the serepax and xanax as fast as it will go down my throat type. Sometimes for a reason, sometimes for no rhyme or logic. Sometimes just shakes, sometimes that horrible knot in your stomach. Sometimes racing thoughts, sometimes full-blown, impending doom, panic attacks....anxiety.... I hate that sneaky little bastard.

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