Mad World

This is my song today...

"waiting for the day I feel good..."
-Gary Jules

Some days, I wonder at not just my own inabilty to find hope for the future, but the whole of humanity's ability to hope. Because it is indeed a mad world, and everywhere I turn I seem to be confronted with more proof that the world itself is in a downward spiral. And yet I look around, and people are positive, making plans, building futures, having babies, looking forward. So I can conclude from this, one of two things... they are all idiots and I am the only clear headed genius who can see that we are on the eve of destruction (unlikely) or, it is my depression taking over, distorting those cognitions, throwing a grey veil over my face and preventing me from looking at the world through rational eyes. In other words, I'm having a bad day..week..month..year...

Can I fix this? Maybe its not the world thats mad, maybe its just me. There are days (most days really) where I truly feel as though I'm not meant to be here at all.

Sorry, thats the best I can do for the moment, have expended my 'fake it till ya make it' quota for the week, and I think I just need to go and pull the duvet over my head and hide till tomorrow.

Tomorrow, when I'll paste that smile and half-assed can do attitude back on and start another week of trying to claw my way out of this hole.