Thursday, October 15, 2009

Coming out of hiding

Well.... I've not written in a little while. The anxiety gremlins have been feasting on my brain. A few things have happened... some good, some bad. Let's see... Medications.. Doctors have upped my dose of serepax to try and help smooth out the anxiety and also changed me from Seroquel to Thorazine. (hopefully, this will help with the weight gain and I will stop looking like a chipmunk hoarding for the winter) The downside to this change, is the drug increases your sensitivity to the sun. And being, a fair, red-headed gal from down under approaching summer, this is not great news. Particularly since we have a history of skin cancers in the family. So slip slop slap. I usually just put on some sunscreen when I go out, but now Ive bought a roll on one to keep in my purse for touch ups during the day, just ordered a new pair of prescription sunglasses, and as for the hat... well I'm working on it... I have yet to find a hat I do not look like a total tool in.... seriously... I look like a wanna be gangsta, a chimney sweep or an old lady pruning her rose garden (argh)

Went and visted the local 'drop-in centre' with my case manager. Don't think its a place I will be going, but I guess it doesn't hurt to know its there. In more positive news, was heaps more relaxed with Case Manager (M) in the car, and after talking to Consumer Advocate (K) she has agreed to come to my house for our meetings, instead of me having to go to horrible mental health building. Yay! Iv'e asked her to give me a touch up on some of the CBT anti-anxiety strategies as that seems to be the biggest bugbear at the moment, as well as insomnia... but they are intertwined. She is also going to try and get me into public dental system to fix my teeth (background story: whilst in hospital in a different town, was over-medicated, fell face first onto bathroom tiles and smashed up my teeth, three years, multiple caps and two root canals later they are still a mess, and a big shaker of confidence)

Therapy with D has had its good moments and bad moments.. a lot of zoning out and dissassociating. Especially Monday, when the other Occupant of the suite decided to have work done during my session. Today was pretty good thoug, managed to stay present for the whole session. I really think we're still dancing around the trust thing, and thats going to take a while... but its coming along

In more astounding news, I had a date tonight... my first since ex (he who shall not be named) broke up over a year ago. I'm jumping back on the horse ready or not. Bachelor Number 1 (hereafter known as A) works with software engineering. He is well travelled, intelligent and funny... not sure what the heck he sees in me. But he asked for a second dinner next thursday it tis... will keep you posted

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