Friday, June 25, 2010

Unchartered Territory

I'm still....happy.... Go figure? And I am enjoying it, whether it heralds the beginning of a new frame of mind, or is merely a hiatus from my normal messed up self.

I'm enjoying relaxing without the threat of impending doom that usually follows me around like a little dark cloud. I am definately enjoying sleeping. 8 hours a night? How decadant! How luxurious a sleep life do you normal people have! It's awesome. I'm enjoying the energy and motivation I am finding I have now that it is not all directed into more nefarious activities like ruminating, worrying and plotting my untimely demise.

I'm not sure that my therapist quite knows what to do with a happy Ophelia. :)

It certainly does pose somewhat of a conundrum for us.

Why? Well, may you ask! Happy would seem to be something that she would encourage. And indeed she does. She has stated categorically that she wants to celebrate and enjoy this newly acquired harmony with me. that I am not floundering around like a fish on a deck gasping for air, it would also seem to be a good time to attack some of the harder 'therapy stuff', no? Now that I have a bit of balance and stable ground beneath me it would seem to be a good time, I can handle it better. But...... we also don't want to ruin this good place I'm in by miring me in that bog of horribleness. So its a hard line to toe.

My first reaction was one of "Lady! Why do you wanna go blow my mojo like that?". I'm feeling good. Why would you wanna mess with that. But, in all fairness, my argument before has definately been that I was in too bad a place to explore this stuff. So, I can't have it both ways, can I?

Well, we'll take it slowly and see how it all pans out I guess.

In other news, handover with Case Managers went well. (M) said she was going to keep (A) in the loop so I have back up at the clinic should she go away again, which is good. All in all, I think she was quite pleased with how I'm doing at the moment, so I'll catch up with her again in a fortnight. I also got lots of kudos for finishing my prac despite the difficulties, which of course made me squirm, as a) I don't really do well with praise and b) although I got good evaluations, I really don't feel in myself that I did that well. Ah, well, bygones!

And finally, I have a little cash in hand work coming up over the next fortnight, babysitting for a family over the school holidays. They're great kids and very easy to sit for. So far I've planned a few outings to activities the council is putting on, I have dug out a receipe for Ginger bread men, and I've grabbed a few craft things I had stored away... some jewellery making, oragami and clay. So, I think we're going to have a lot of fun! (Last holidays we made a volcano and I taught them how to make balloon animals, so some high expectations to fill! lol) And with the money I earn, I should be able to pay for the dentist to pull out the tooth that I broke....owies. So that's life at the moment. Weekend will consist of sleep, vegging out and consuming copious amounts of food that's bad for me, followed by my first shift back at RMH, which I am looking forward to!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Peace and Love


  1. It's great that you're feeling happy! Certainly be sure to enjoy that. I can understand your hesitation to talk about some harder things with your therapist, but maybe it won't get you down like it may have in the past. Maybe this good footing will make you like Teflon-- things just slide right off. I guess you never know until you try.

    Wishing you well,

  2. Glad to hear you're getting some good sleep. Good luck with the little ones! Have fun.