Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Things are going....actually, quite well?

Well, I am nearing the end of my first week back at home and frankly, its been pure bliss the last few days. The stress of Uni has gone, family has departed back to whence they came.... even my sleep is improving somewhat! I am of course well aware that this may well be a bit of a honeymoon period, but I am going to enjoy the calm while I can.

I have of course had lots of appointments to catch up on which has kept me busy. Back to therapy three times per week, Psychiatrist on Tuesday afternoon, GP today and Case Manager tomorrow. My interim Case manager (A) and my normal Case Manager (M) are both coming, as (M) has returned from her two months leave. I have actually been suprisingly comfortable talking to (A), but I am still happy to have it handed back to (M) who I have a more established alliance with. It is good to know that there is someone else there that I have developed a rapport with, in case (M) goes on leave again.

Dr F (Psychiatrist) has not changed any medications this time around. We had previously discussed increasing the Cymbalta, but as I seem to be in a pretty good place for this moment in time, we're going to wait and see. At some point we are going to look at taking me off of the Serepax, but although I am keen to do it, she is a little more cautious... especially since I can't take valium, which they often use to offset the withdrawals, and thus reducing it may be a little rougher on me. I still live in the hopes of a day where I am not stuffing myself to the gills with medications, but I trust Dr F's judgement on this one.

(D), my therapist has really concentrated the last two sessions on examining the prac experience and pulling apart what parts I liked and what parts I struggled with. Lots of positive praising going on, which makes me super uncomfortable... but I do need to start giving myself recognition for things I achieve rather than focussing on what I fail at. She has yet to mention the dreaded attachment word, which I was sure she would harp on about after such a long break, so I am feeling like I dodged a bullet on that one!

Lil Sis, has stood up for me with Big Sis, who wanted to come and spend the weekend again! I feel like a bit of a bitch saying no (I know, even after last weekends shenannigans, my guilt complex is still alive and kicking!) but Lil Sis is away for the weekend and I am really looking forward to, and NEED the house to myself.

I start back working at Ronald McDonald House on Sunday, which I am looking forward to, but other than that, relaxation is on the menu for the next few days. With a little cleaning and washing thrown in (I still haven't unpacked my bags *shame*)

As of next week, I am going to begin looking for some part time work... just two days or so to begin with. I am going to go through the Disability Employment Services at Centrelink, and I was also told the Mental Health Service has an employment officer, so I'll look into that. My aim this time is not to make the same mistake as last time. A) i went back to full time work to quickly and it ended up a big set back and B) I was afraid to ask for the accomodations that I need. This time, with the back up of the professionals, I plan to be completely up front about what I need. I have faith that eventuallly the right position will come along.

Anyway, I'm off to bed, have been averaging 6-7 hours a night over the last few days, with only one or two wakeups during the night... which for me is fan-bloody-tastic!

Signing off from probably one of the most positive posts Ive ever written! :P
Peace and love


  1. I'm glad things are going so well for you! And it's great that you're being assertive with your sisters and your work.

    Wishing you well,

  2. This sounds great, peace, quiet, sleep, relaxation... Enjoy! :)